Monopolizing Madness
by littlemsbookworm
Summary: The Kira task force is going to play a simple game of Monopoly,so of course, craziness will ensue. Oneshot.


**This took SO long to finish, but I'm pretty satisfied with the ending :) As always, I do not own Death Note, Monopoly, or Zac Efron.**

It was another normal day in the Kira Task Force Headquarters. Every member there was hard at work trying to solve the case (with the exceptions of Light, who for obvious reasons was not too keen on the investigation uncovering anything, and Matsuda, who was busy looking at pictures of bunnies on his computer, because to him that fell under the category of "work").

Unfortunately, nothing was being uncovered and no new suspects were being found, and this caused the force to become quite agitated. L, keen detective that he was, noticed that his co-workers were beginning to show signs of fatigue and irritation, which clued him in that they needed a break or else something (or someone) was going to get injured/ maimed/psychologically terrorized. Thankfully L had prepared a plan in case this situation arose. Reaching over to the microphone on his left, he pushed the call button.

"Yes, Ryuzaki?" the voice crackled through the room, startling the task force.

"Watari, please bring in the items I requested be put to the side earlier."

"Right away."

"Thank you." L turned away from the microphone and faced the task force, who were all looking at him quizzically from their papers, files, and rabbit photos.

"What's going on Ryuzaki?" asked Chief Yagami, looking up from a list of suspects.

"Seeing as everyone is mentally exhausted and we are getting less than nowhere, we are taking a short break from work." L replied. "Well, in truth only myself, Chief Yagami, Light, and Matsuda will be taking a break. The rest of you will continue working."

"Why do we not get to play?" Mogi whined, "We're just as tired as everyone else!"

"Because you are minor characters, and no one wants to hear anymore about you than necessary. Also, this will take too long if we have more than four people."

"But-" Just then Watari came through the door, cutting off the retort. In his arms he held a rectangular box with the word "Monopoly" written on the top. The task force could only stare in confusion as the older man set the box in front of the detective and left. As L began to carefully open the box and set up the pieces, Light spoke up.

"Ryuzaki, you can't seriously think we're going to waste time playing a board game when Kira is on the loose, can you?"

"Indeed I can." L said, still arranging the board. "I instructed Watari to set aside things such as this game in the event that the force became restless."

"This is a huge waste of time!" Light said angrily.

The chief and Matsuda however were not as opposed to the idea as Light, and they moved to go sit by the game board.

"Come Light, it will help us relax." Chief Yagami said. "We're all wound up as it is, we need a break."

"No! This is ridiculous!"

"Light, if you don't come over soon, all the good tokens will be gone." L said.

"Oh for gods sake! Fine!" Light, now angry that he was constantly being dragged into these ridiculous schemes, stormed over to where L was sitting. He saw that the tokens already chosen were a top hat, a dog, and…an iron? Why would anyone pick that? Why was that even a token in the first place? Light turned to look at the other tokens, but before he could pick one L had already scooped one up and placed it on the board with the others. "This one will be yours Light."

"A shoe? That's the worst token! Why do I have to be a shoe?"

"Because I said so."

"No! I don't want to be the shoe! Let me be something else!" Light said. L completely ignored him.

"Now, I will be the banker. We will distribute the money and then begin." As he spoke, he reached into the box and pulled out several stacks of bills. He handed Matsuda $5, the chief $500, and Light $1. To himself he gave $1000.

"Ryuzaki, why do we all have different amounts of money? It's been a while since I last played the game, but don't the rules say that we all have to have the same amount at the start?" Chief Yagami asked.

"I have decided that to make this game more realistic, we will give out the amount of money that each person most likely makes in a week."

"Oh man, this is way more than what I get in a week!" Matsuda said excitedly. "I've been saving up my paychecks for YEARS and I still haven't got $5!"

"Why do I only get $1?" Light chimed in.

"You are an 18 year old college student with no job, commitment, or any form of income. Therefore the only money you make in a week would have to be money you pick up from the street."

"But-"

L cut him off, the slightest hint of a glare in his dark eyes. "Light, you are becoming a nuisance. Either you stop now, or I have Watari take away all your beloved Zac Efron posters." That hit Light hard.

'You wouldn't dare."

"In the past, I've tracked people through the FBI without consent, I've installed video cameras in private residences and spied on families with their knowing, I've kidnapped, bound, and gagged a girl just because she may or may not be a serial killer, and I have chained myself to a murder suspect. Don't underestimate me."

Light glared, but went silent. He wouldn't lose his much-loved Zac Efron posters, not this way.

"Anyways, let us begin." And so it did. Despite having the least amount of money, Light was slowly gaining a lot of property. He was contemplating his next move when L landed on a Community Chest. He picked a card and looked at it, then put it back until the pile and handed the dice to Light.

"What did that card say?" Matsuda asked.

"It informed me that I had to pay a so called "poor tax" of $50." L replied. "Seeing as I am not poor, I am not obliged to do that, so my turn is over."

"What?" Light said. "No its not! You have to pay that! Put $50 in the bank!"

"I see no reason why, as I am not poor." L said calmly. "Also Light, I don't recall making a fuss when you were angry about only winning second place on that beauty contest Chance card earlier."

"It was stupid! I'm the most handsome man in this room! In all of Japan for god's sake! The card should have said first place! What idiot considers getting second place an achievement?"

"Most people would Light…except Kira."

Light put his hand on his forehead. Not this again. "Being angry about Monopoly has NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING KIRA!"

"Up by 3.45% Light."

Two hours later Matsuda had assembled a vast amount of hotels that he had placed all on one property, making the cost of landing there in the hundred thousands. Unfortunately L happened to land on that very spot not soon after. Seeing as L still had the most money in the game, Matsuda was excited.

"That's $122,489 you owe me Ryuzaki!" he said happily. L only stared at him.

The silence dragged.

"Er... Ryuzaki, you have to pay me." Matsuda said slowly.

"Matsuda if you do not let me pass your space without paying you can kiss your days on the task force goodbye. Now you tell me: would that be playing smart Monopoly?" Matsuda shook his head sadly.

"Oh this is a monopoly, for sure." Light muttered.

"Silence Kira! Take your turn!"

"I am not Kira!" Light grudgingly rolled the dice. "I got a seven." As soon as he put his piece on the correct spot L jumped up.

"Aha! You ARE Kira! This proves it! You are under arrest!" L pointed to the space Light had landed on. Go to Jail.

"No I'm not!"

"Yes. You are."

"Why would _that _prove that I'm Kira?"

"Because it says so in this book." L said calmly, holding out a large book. Light looked at it. The cover read:

_Ridiculous and Completely Random Ways to Convict Criminals for Recluse Oddball Detectives (WARNING: Some Methods May Be Semi-Illegal and/or Harmful to Health)_

There was a bookmark in it. Light flipped the book open and read:

_#32: Force suspect to play Monopoly. Load dice so suspect lands on Go to Jail space. Use this as reason to convict them. If #32 does not work, proceed directly to #33._

"What's number thirty-"

**WHACK! **

Light fell hard. L carefully crouched down, picked up his book, and read slowly to the shocked task force the next page, a small smile on his face.

"_# 33: If suspect does not comply to arrest, hit him/her with a heavy object, such as a shovel, and take to prison."_

Game Over.


End file.
